Conjugial Love (Acton) n. 296

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296. I. THAT CHOICE BELONGS TO THE MAN AND NOT TO THE WOMAN. This is because [1] Man is born to be understanding and woman to be love. [2] With men is love of the sex in general but with women love of one of the sex. [3] With men it is not unbecoming to speak of love and to speak of it openly, while with women it is unbecoming. Still, women have the right to choose one among their suitors. As regards the first reason, that choice belongs to men because they are born for understanding, this is because the understanding can see compatibilities and incompatibilities, and can discriminate between them and from judgment can choose the suitable. This is not the case with women. Being born for love, they do not have the clear-sightedness of that light and hence would have no determination towards marriage save from the inclinations of their love. If they have the knowledge of how to distinguish between men, their love is still carried along according to appearances. [2] As to the second reason why choice lies with men and not with women, that with men is love of the sex in general and with women love of one of the sex, this is because those who have love of the sex have freedom to look around and also to decide. Not so with women, for in them is implanted love of one of the sex. If you wish to confirm this, take any man whom you may meet and ask him about monogamous and polygamous marriage; rarely will you find one who will not answer in favor of polygamous marriage--and this also is love of the sex. But ask women about these marriages, and nearly all except prostitutes will reject polygamous marriages. From this it is clear that with women is the love of one of the sex, thus conjugial love. [3] As regards the third reason, that with men it is not unbecoming to speak of love and to speak of it openly, and that with women it is unbecoming, this is self-evident. It further follows that to man belongs also the declaration, and if the declaration, also the choice. That women have the right of choice from among their suitors is known, but this kind of choice is restricted and limited, while that of men is extended and unlimited.


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