167. (9) Wives keep this perception in them hidden and conceal it from their husbands for reasons that are necessary in building conjugial love, friendship and trust, so that they may have bliss in living together and happiness of life. The hiding and concealing by wives of their perception of their husbands' affections is called necessary, because if their perceptions became known, they would alienate their husbands from bed, bedroom, and home. This is because most men have in them a deep-seated coldness to marriage, for many reasons, which will be disclosed in the chapter on the reasons for states of coldness, separations and divorces 2 between married partners.* If wives were to divulge what they know of their husbands' affections and feelings, this coldness would break out of its hiding places and chill first the inner recesses of the mind, then the heart, and afterwards the outmost organs of love which are dedicated to reproduction. And if these should become cold, conjugial love would be banished to such a degree that there would remain no hope of friendship, trust, or bliss in living together and thus no hope for happiness of life. Yet wives are continually sustained by this hope. To reveal that they know the affections and feelings of love in their husbands carries with it a declaration and announcement of their own love; and it is well known that to the extent wives open their mouths about this, to the same extent their husbands grow cold and desire separation. This makes plain the truth of the premise, that wives keep their perception in them hidden and conceal it from their husbands for reasons that are necessary. * See nos. 234ff.