331. Three of the wives were annoyed that the men's three conclusions were confirmed by wives from heaven, and they said to the men, "You have inquired into whether a woman loves her husband if she loves herself on account of her beauty. Therefore we in turn will now consider whether a man can love his wife if he loves himself on account of his intelligence. Come and listen." They then formed as their first conclusion the following: "No wife loves her husband on account of his appearance, but on account of the intelligence he displays in his occupation and conduct. Be advised, therefore, that a wife unites herself with a man's intelligence, and thus with the man. So then, if a man loves himself on account of his intelligence, he draws it back from his wife to himself, which results in disunion instead of union. Furthermore, to love one's own intelligence is to look to oneself for wisdom, which is to be irrational; consequently it is to love one's own irrationality." To this the men said, "Perhaps the wife unites herself with her husband's virility." The wives laughed at this, saying, "A man does not lack virility as long as he loves his wife in a condition of intelligence; but he loses it if he does so in a condition of irrationality. It is a mark of intelligence to love only one's wife, and such a love does not lack virility; but it is a mark of irrationality to love in preference to one's wife the opposite sex in general, and such a love does lack virility. Surely you know this." [2] Their second conclusion was as follows: "We women come by birth into a love for the intelligence of men. Consequently if men themselves love their own intelligence, their intelligence cannot be united with its proper true love which is found in a wife; and if a man's intelligence is not united with its proper true love which is found in a wife, his intelligence becomes irrational as a result of conceit, and conjugial love in him turns cold. Now what woman can unite her love to a love that is cold? And what man can unite the irrationality of his conceit to a love for intelligence?" However the men said, "On what ground does a man have honor from his wife if he does not extol his intelligence?" But the wives replied, "On the ground of love, because love esteems what it loves. Esteem always accompanies love, though love may not always accompany esteem." [3] After that they formed as their third conclusion the following: "To you it seems as though you love your wives, but you do not see that you are loved by your wives and so love them in return. Nor do you see that your intelligence is the object of their love. So then, if you yourselves love your intelligence in you, it becomes the object of your love; and love of oneself, because it will not endure an equal, never becomes conjugial love. To the contrary, as long as it prevails it remains licentious." At this the men were silent; yet they murmured to themselves, "What then is conjugial love?" Listening to this were some husbands in heaven, and they confirmed from there the three conclusions reached by the wives.