THE REASONS FOR COLDNESS, SEPARATION AND DIVORCE IN MARRIAGE

In discussing here the reasons for coldness in marriage, I shall also deal with the reasons for separation and also for divorce. This is because these all hang together. For there is no reason for separation other than the various forms of coldness which develop by stages after marriage, or reasons discovered after marriage, which also result in coldness. Divorce, however, is the result of adultery, because this is the exact opposite of marriage, and what is opposite creates coldness, if not for both, at least for one partner. This is why the reasons for coldness, separation and divorce are brought together in a single chapter. But it will be seen more clearly how these hang together, if set out in order, as follows:

(i) There is spiritual heat and spiritual coldness; spiritual heat is love, and spiritual coldness is being deprived of love. (ii) Spiritual coldness in marriage is disunion of souls and a parting of minds leading to indifference, discord, contempt, hatred and turning away. In many cases these lead eventually to separation from bed, bedroom and home. (iii) There are many reasons for the successive stages of coldness, some inward, some outward and some accidental. (iv) The inward reasons for coldness are religious ones. (v) The first of these reasons is the rejection of religion by both parties. (vi) The second is the acceptance of religion by one and not the other. (vii) The third is each party having a different religious belief. (viii) The fourth is adherence to false religious beliefs. (ix) These are in many cases the reasons for inward coldness, but not accompanied by outward coldness. (x) There are also many outward reasons for coldness, the first being unlikeness in character and behaviour. (xi) The second is the belief that conjugial love is no different from scortatory love, except that one is legally permitted and the other is illicit. (xii) The third is competition between the couple who is to be dominant. (xiii) The fourth is the lack of interest in any study or business, which results in wandering desire. (xiv) The fifth is inequality of outward rank and condition. (xv) There are also several reasons for separation. (xvi) The first of them is mental deficiency. (xvii) The second is physical deficiency. (xviii) The third is impotence before marriage. (xix) Adultery is the reason for divorce. (xx) There are also many accidental reasons, the first of which is familiarity due to continual permission. (xxi) The second is if living with one's partner seems forced by compact and law, and not free. (xxii) The third is the wife's giving notice of her love and talking about it. (xxiii) The fourth is when the husband thinks day and night about his wife being willing, and conversely when the wife thinks about her husband being unwilling. (xxiv) As there is coldness in the mind, so there is also in the body; and as that coldness increases, the outward parts of the body too are shut down.

There now follows an explanation of these points.