Conjugial Love (Rogers) n. 244

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244. (9) The aforementioned reasons are causes of an inward coldness, but in many cases not at the same time of an outward one. The reasons enumerated and established so far are causes of coldness in inward states. If the same reasons were to produce a similar coldness in outward states, then as many separations would occur as there are instances of inward coldness - and there are as many instances of coldness as there are marriages of people who are caught up in falsities of religion, who have different religions, or who have no religion (which we have just discussed). Yet we know that many of them live together as though they loved each other and possessed a mutual friendship. Why this is so, however, in the case of people who are in state of inward coldness, will be told in the following chapter on the reasons for apparent love, friendship and favor between married partners.* [2] Many circumstances occur which join minds together but do not at the same time join souls. Among the circumstances are some of those recounted above in no. 153. But still an inner coldness lies hidden within, and this coldness makes itself periodically noticed and felt. In such marriages, the partners depart from each other in their affections, and only draw together in their thoughts whenever these are manifested in their speech and behavior, in order to preserve an appearance of friendship and favor. In consequence they know nothing of the pleasantness and pleasure of truly conjugial love, and even less of its felicity and bliss. To them these are little more than fables. People like this are among those who imagine the origins of conjugial love from the same causes as the nine companies of wise men assembled from the kingdoms of Europe, as reported in a narrative account earlier, nos. 103-114. * See nos. 271ff.


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