The pretences practised by married couples, allowing those who disagree in character to appear loving and friendly, are intended to lead to improvement, because a spiritual person bound in matrimony with a natural one has no other aim than improving the way they live. He does this by talking about wisdom and refinement, and by acts of good will which appeal to the other's character. But if these fall on deaf ears or make no impression on his behaviour, he aims at arrangements which will keep order in household affairs, provide mutual help, take care of babies and children, and so forth. For what a spiritual persons says and does has a touch of justice and judgment, as shown above (280).

[2] In the case, however, of a married couple, neither of whom are spiritual, but both natural, something similar may occur, but for other purposes. If they aim at improvement and an arrangement, the intention is either to bring the other one to behave in a similar fashion to oneself or to make him or her subservient to one's own desires; or to ensure the performance of duties which serve one's own, either for the sake of peace at home or good repute outside it, or for the sake of favours hoped for from one's partner, or from his relatives, not to mention other aims. But these in some cases arise from their rational prudence, in some cases from their native politeness, in some cases from the pleasures of desires which have become familiar from birth, so that their loss is feared. There are also many more purposes, which cause the good will assumed to be the product of conjugial love to become more or less pretended. There are also acts of good will looking as if from conjugial love to be seen outside the home, but not inside it; but these have in view the preservation of each party's reputation, or if not, they are merely a game.